It is amazing how many times entrepreneurs or business people can sell themselves short by not having confidence in what they do. More important than that is that they may indeed have confidence in their ability, but it does not show – as a result, they are perceived to not have confidence. This perception will affect the success of your business. If you are perceived to not have confidence in yourself, then the assumption is that there is no reason for someone else to have confidence in you either.
People can suffer from “confidence intervals”, where their confidence levels can fluctuate based on the circumstances. This is a term most commonly used in statistical analysis to estimate a parameter or the degree of uncertainty surrounding an estimate.
The number one source of low self-esteem or a lack of confidence is insecurity. We all want to feel safe, accepted, and loved. That yearning is what creates the ongoing battle – what does someone else think? Sometimes, it really does not matter, and sometimes, it does. Discernment and common sense makes you know the difference.
We live our lives trying to impress and be impressed. Throughout this process the focus is on what others want to see in us, occasionally allowing a brief encounter with our true self, as we flit away to the next interaction of impression.
In order to overcome this insecurity, you have to show some love to YOU and not wait for someone else to do it so as to feel validated. Stop telling yourself all the things that you think are wrong – this is too big, that is too fat, this is too small, and that over here is too thin, or worst of all I have not done enough (when you most definitely have!) – give yourself a break and stop the abuse! Yes, it most definitely is abuse. We deconstruct our poor selves constantly and then wonder why we have no confidence or self-esteem left?!?! It is a vicious cycle that not only damages our self-confidence, but also our self image, self worth, and ultimately self respect.
So how do we stop the cycle of insecurity? It starts with acknowledging and recognizing a few things:
1) Comparison – Not feeling “good enough”, because of the assumption that someone else is always better; we tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do have and that leads to a drain on confidence. Comparisons to others are a fatal flaw and leads to low self-esteem because we can always find someone who does something better than we can. That is fine - because there is something that you can do better than someone else – so it all evens out in the end.
2) Control – If you make a habit of pleasing others over what you want for yourself, you relinquish control of yourself. This lack of control creates a lack of confidence and self-doubt.If someone or something is exerting control over you, that creates the erroneous notion that they must know better than you do. Take control of what you want for you and why you want it.
3) Conformity– You are afraid of what will happen if you actually stood out. What is the worse thing that can happen? Does it really matter all that much? Trying to blend in and “be like everybody else” is a sure path to mediocrity and an unfulfilled destiny. We are not designed to conform; we are designed to be unique.
So here are some tips to building confidence:
1) Know Your Value – Knowing your stuff and focusing on the value that only YOU can bring is a mark of confidence, especially in business. Confidence means that you know what you can do as much as what you cannot and that you are not beating up yourself for what you can’t do or don’t know. You have the capacity to learn whatever you need to and excel.
2) Be You – Because everyone else is taken! Here is a chance to focus on your uniqueness and do the world a huge favor. Stop hiding in there, we need what you have! Remember…”Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” – Coco Chanel
3) Be True to Your Style – Confidence is always a good look! There is nothing that can give you a boost of confidence better than looking good in your favorite outfit. It changes moods, attitudes, altitudes, and creates a Stylish Confident You. Wear something that makes you feel great and showcases all the reasons why you are confident and why others should believe in you. A good place to start is by carrying your confidence in style with your Casauri bag (of course!).
For more great insights on building confidence and increasing self-esteem and success in business, check out this nifty Forbes article that discusses - defining success, process and expectations, progress builds self-esteem, being constructively accountable and seeking inspiration from others instead of competing.
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